Writer

Self-help Book in Progress Excerpt:

“In my own growth journey I found that allowing my identity to be consumed with managing others was a form of escaping myself. Numbing myself with activity and relationship addiction relieved me from facing my own hard feelings. I was well into my healing and recovery before I recognized how that pattern disguised that I didn’t value myself and feel worthy independent of others.

Managing others fills that hole while at the same time justifies our behavior. Over time we unknowingly become addicted to the value and purpose we gain from saving other people. When they thank us or praise us for our help we feel warm and worthy, without considering how out of balance our relationships have become. We become their manager. They need us. We enable them. They lean on us. It feels good. Repeat.

Our “purpose” starts revealing itself in our everyday life and might look like staying busy, controlling others, self-sacrificing and clinging to things (from unbalanced relationships to that ragged old shirt in the back of your closet!) because letting go feels unsafe. Who are we without this purpose?”