Have you ever taken a feeling and a circumstance and arrived at a conclusion that hurt?

The feeling is real. The circumstance may be real, too. But the story we build around them deserves a closer look.

Sometimes our A + B leads us to D—a conclusion shaped by fear, grief, or years of feeling responsible for someone else.

Need help moving? Planning a baby shower? I’m your girl. At least I used to be.

The person you can always ask, the one who rarely says no. We all know that person, and if you’re reading this, maybe you are that person. We love being valued and appreciated.

Which is why we’re overgivers.

When we love someone who struggles with addiction or emotional chaos, one of our greatest challenges can be saying “no.”

My alcoholic sister-in-law had a three-month-old boy. She wanted to celebrate her one-year sobriety with her AA sponsor and asked us to babysit. About 10:00 at night they come to grab the baby. Both are hammered… What would you do? Leslie

Dear Leslie,

Your question gets me fired up!

Dear Liz:

I'm a dad in recovery who raised my daughter mostly as a solo parent. She recently married an addict in recovery . . . Should I stay out of it and let her figure it out? -Paul

Dear Paul. . . I wonder, did she observe codependency in you, either in your relationship with her or with others?

FAMILY WEDDING DRAMA—DO I INVITE MY DAD?

I’m getting married and don’t know how to handle my dad...I would love for him and my mom to walk me down the aisle. But I also don’t want him to ruin my wedding. What should I do? Felicia

Dear Felicia, What do you want to do? I suggest you remove everyone else's desires and look into. . .

I have a friend I adore who leans on me for encouragement and support. . . yet I’m realizing she doesn’t reciprocate. -Cathy

Dear Cathy,

You’re on the bottom side of the teeter-totter of an out-of-balance relationship.

Dear Liz:

At a recent family gathering my nephew was out of it—again—from the get-go, which made it awkward for everyone. . . My husband and I don’t want to be around him like that, but also don’t want to suffer the collateral damage of missing out. - Tori

Dear Tori,

I don't blame you. The ball is yours, though, and it sounds like you need to decide. . .

This tiny but powerful book by Dorothy Marie England offers a fresh perspective on “The Magical World of Chemical Codependency.”

DO I CALL CPS?

My mid-20s son lives with his baby and her mom in a filthy apartment. He’s super unmotivated, addicted to gaming, smokes marijuana. . . I’m inclined to call CPS, but they’ll know it’s me and I don’t want to lose them. What do you suggest? Tristan

Dear Tristan,

If you lose your son, you lose your granddaughter—it’s that simple.