Book Review: Attached

Attached by Amir Levine, M.D., and Rachel S.F. Heller, M.A.

Attached. The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love is an excellent book that decodes our relationships styles, whether secure, anxious or avoidant. Our attachment style is influenced by a variety of factors—not only our childhood, as previously believed—including our life experiences. And good news, they can change over time.

On the back of the book the styles are defined in this way:

• Anxious people are often preoccupied with their relationships and tend to worry about their partner's ability to love them back.
• Avoidant people equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly try to minimize closeness.
• Secure people feel comfortable with intimacy and are usually warm and loving.

Attached provides insight into ourselves and our relationships. It helps explain why we or our partners react in a certain way. For instance, on page 80 when discussing anxious attachment styles it says, “If you wait just a little longer before reacting and jumping to conclusions, you will have an uncanny ability to decipher the world around you and use it to your advantage.”

It also provides questions to help us evaluate our attachment style as well as our partners, and includes invaluable real-life examples of each of the attachment styles that teach readers how to respond differently and communicate better.

I highly recommend this well-known and highly rated book for anyone desiring healthy relationships in their life, and isn’t that everyone?