Dirty Pee Test by Rosie Lark, as told to Liz Abess

I agreed to take an alcohol urine test for a best friend ten years ago, after her separated husband required it—he was trying to take their son away. I didn’t realize she was doing drugs or how serious her drinking problem was at the time. When her sister told me “I don’t know what she’d do if she lost her son,” I feared she might commit suicide, and I agreed without thinking twice.

I didn’t realize I was putting myself at risk, I just knew I’d have her attention. Driving there I thought “I’ll convince her she needs to stop this madness. I’ll counsel her and she’ll appreciate me. I’ll be her savior.”

Later, after I finished the test, the reality of what I’d done hit me. “I shouldn’t have done it,” I thought. Back then I had a hard time saying to no anyone. I believed I could save her. I never considered saying no. She was my best friend—I did it out of love.

Although I hadn’t mentioned it to him, I discussed it with my husband that night, asking “What have I done?” He supported me at first, calling me a good friend.

The next morning, he said, “I sure hope you don’t go to jail for this.” I didn’t consider that her husband could have pressed charges. I had my own kids to raise. What if I’d gone to jail?

Soon I helped her again, by getting her a job with another friend’s mom. Before long, she ripped off the mom at work.

That’s when I finally recognized it. I had a problem, too.

I cut her off completely and started to be more mindful of what I allowed in my life and my kids’ lives. I pulled away from her. I set up boundaries.

When I see her, I am still kind, but now she’s ‘someone I used to know.’

Today my love would be shown differently.